I don't get to church every Sunday, in fact these days there are more Sundays that I'm not at church than those I am. But I make an effort to have quiet times, Bible study moments, as often as I can remember. On weekends it usually happens in the morning.
Today's quiet time took me to Psalm 34:18
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Two years ago today we lost mom.
It's much colder today, but the sky was as blue, the Sun as bright.
Thoughough my mom's struggle with cancer I don't think that I ever turned against the Lord in wondering why her. But I think that at some point, maybe she did. The last photo I have of her before she died is in her hospital room during her last visit. She is alone on the bed looking toward the large windows. She is so small in the middle of this large room. I think she was negotiating with God during those days.
Just after I left that time, Mom decided she was ready to go home with hospice. No more talks of getting better or ostomy-reversal surgery. Just talk of being at home and out of the hospital.
Her last day was quiet and peaceful. We all got to spend hours sitting with ther holding her hand. Dad, the longest. And then there was a bit of chaos, cheering and holding her during her last breaths - encouraging her on her walk to the other side.
And then God moved from holding her to holding us as we were brokenhearted and crushed in spirit.
