Happy Birthday

Scott

Today (well, technically yesterday) was mom's 67th birthday.

She spent it at home resting for much of the day, reading cards from friends and family, and spending time with us. All things considered it was a nice birthday evening.

Since our last update some things have changed.

Mom came home from the hospital on Friday, March 4. After spending 17 days at Butler Memorial,  Mom, Dad, and her doctors determined that it was time for her to go home. She had entered the hospital this time with very abnormal electrolyte levels and, as it turns out a blood infection (Sepsis), urinary infection and a little bit of pneumonia. A regimented plan of antibiotics took care of her infections (The blood infection most likely caused by her last visit to the hospital.) So that was a very good thing.

What was not so good was mom's recovery from everything else.

Let's talk for a moment about hospitals.

When you go into the hospital, or are admitted, your condition is considered "Acute." This means that you have an active situation that the hospital will do their very best to resolve, get you better and send you home. This is what hospitals do.

In mom's case, those conditions were her infections and her electrolyte levels. The hospital successfully resolved her infections while also treating her electrolytes.  But her levels, as we knew going in, have been thrown out of whack by the pervasiveness, and proliferation of cancer through her body.  The staff would get her levels to normalize, but once they stopped administering treatment, they'd go back to abnormal... all the while she continued to get weaker.

Cancer really disrupts your body's ability to regulate itself.

So after 17 days of hospital care, working round the clock to fix mom's problems it became clear to us that this beastly disease, this stage of cancer would not yield its grip on her through the means, procedures and medicinal technologies available to us. In short, the hospital ran out of ways and their ability to "fix" mom's problems... And mom and dad chose to begin hospice care at home.

Going Home

Last Friday was a very difficult day. I was still in Detroit, planning to spend the weekend with Ian before coming to PA for mom's birthday. But once the decision was made to bring mom home, my plans changed and I drove home Saturday afternoon.  Amy had already been here since Feb 20th... she went ahead of Dad and the ambulance and met the first hospice team to set up a hospital bed at the house and prep for mom's arrival.

Once home, our hospice agency began 24/7 care, keeping an aide at the house for 24 hours a day... one for the day time and one for night.

There is a lot of misunderstandings of what hospice means. We have learned so much in the past week. These people have been amazing to say the least. On Saturday last week, the aid that was here during the day gave mom the most extensive, therapeutic and beneficial hand bath/scrub ever.  When I got to the house, mom looked radiant. Her skin that had grown gray and pale in the hospital was flush and soft. Though she was weak and had lost her voice due to the dry hospital air, she was restful and peaceful. We had not even really started pain medications. Coming home put mom at rest both in body and in mind, and the hospice nurses and aids have continued to show her that ever since. As mom is able she takes her medicines, supplements etc. Hospice, it turns out, doesn't shut everything off... it just focuses on making mom as comfortable as possible.

Mary 67

The last 36 hours have been rough for us.

Mom's pain has continued to increase, little by little. We have to often adjust her in the bed. She is too weak to pull herself up, move her legs, wiggle her butt, etc.  Things we all take for granted.  She is having more and more pain directly related to the cancer. She has good pain meds that help, and she is sleeping a lot.

We've all taken turns sitting with her, holding her hand, brushing her hair, talking to her, listening to her laugh at things... and sometimes listening to her grumble and, well, she has that right.  And being who she is, she always apologizes.

We had 24 hour care for the first couple of days, then we were on our own for two nights... with nurse and aid visits during the day.  Yesterday, we went back to having a night nurse who stays up with mom through the night to monitor her and help her when she needs it - giving us a chance to sleep.  Tonight's nurse was the same as last night and she brought mom a chocolate birthday cake after she said that was her favorite.  She is awesome. She just sits and pours care on mom almost like an Angel.

Today it rained here all day, like it's raining in our hearts.

We're crying a lot, we're sharing a lot, and we're loving a lot. In some ways it feels as though heaven is pouring out on us and sometimes that's a blessing and sometimes it's painful. And as we move into Spring and the days grow longer we know that our days with mom are getting shorter. We do not know how many days we have left, we only know that we are thankful for each one that comes and goes.

We are passing along all messages, cards, etc mom receives, so feel free to reach out, comment on Facebook, etc. Words of hope, kindness and love are great. Neighbors, church members and some family members have brought food which is such an amazing blessing. (My aunt Lois and uncle Carl are absolute champions.) And we can always feel those prayers, thoughts and positive vibes, they are always welcome.